Good morning my people!
It has been a while and after several attempts of sharing my thoughts i am following through.
My life had some pretty interesting changes and they are mostly within,(except my too short cut bangs,an attempt to bring some funkiness back).
My phobia of having a habit forming life would end a lot of even positive things in my life.So a friend helped me define Habit verses Routine and just that little word play opened up a hugely positiveness.
My Sunday routine of visiting the Lake Shrine services opened my heart and mind to something great!!!
My Routine of mostly daily meditating and being a semi-vegetarian and really working on trusting the big G and myself are milestone changes for me.
But no worries the party girl is still there and is Jagermeister time soon, i can feel it;-)
On the dating issues ,well i do my few dates a week but nothing really stuck out yet and my friends say what about the service on Sundays,aren't there nice man there? Sure ,but that's not dating time that's my time and i will keep it that way!
So heading up there in a while and i am sooooooo sure i will hear today what i really needed to hear and my strawberries from the farmer market and Oscar party here i come!
Thanks for letting me yap on!
Love
A
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Friday, February 4, 2011
Good morning my people!
It has been a while since i shared my thoughts and life stories.
well, being 40 is pretty great and i am thinking about doing something BIG to remember this year!
Initially being "hitched" would have been my first choice and i doesn't really look that will happen. So what's next? HMMMMMMMM
It has been a while since i shared my thoughts and life stories.
well, being 40 is pretty great and i am thinking about doing something BIG to remember this year!
Initially being "hitched" would have been my first choice and i doesn't really look that will happen. So what's next? HMMMMMMMM
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Good evening my people!
Day of a new path
First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR again,just if you haven't heard it enough.
You know those moments when you hear those magic words either from a movie ,TV-show or just a stranger in the supermarket talking and those words mean and open another world to you. Mine were while i was watching one of those German TV -shows, a Austrian X-mas movies i love, Title "Single Bells"( figures,lol) and she said :" if you can't enjoy the present with what ever you have got than you will never enjoy your future". yes,yes i have heard this before but this time it clicked. No matter if i was sitting uncomfortably on that long flight or sleep hangover lying on a bench or just didn't get my way. Now with pleasure i Enjoy my Present because i really wanna enjoy my future and that gives me peace!
Love
AES
Day of a new path
First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR again,just if you haven't heard it enough.
You know those moments when you hear those magic words either from a movie ,TV-show or just a stranger in the supermarket talking and those words mean and open another world to you. Mine were while i was watching one of those German TV -shows, a Austrian X-mas movies i love, Title "Single Bells"( figures,lol) and she said :" if you can't enjoy the present with what ever you have got than you will never enjoy your future". yes,yes i have heard this before but this time it clicked. No matter if i was sitting uncomfortably on that long flight or sleep hangover lying on a bench or just didn't get my way. Now with pleasure i Enjoy my Present because i really wanna enjoy my future and that gives me peace!
Love
AES
Sunday, December 19, 2010
good evening my people!
Day of no compulsions
well, be careful what you wish for when you speak it out loud!
I always said i want to find and date someone just like me but be a man!
What for a nightmare!!!!
I actually found that and it drove me nuts.I knew that i was compulsive but i thought i covered it up with my charm and heart. well,now i know not so much. I saw the other side of the spectrum and i can't believe how many people (man ) i must have been driving nuts!
It was a cover for not feeling good and secure enough and i can so see this through this other person so clearly and now i am confused. Do i gentle help that person to become aware of it like i do or just leave it alone and let it run its course?
I am not really attracted to him but he is nice and my head says it could be good but my heart and soul says NOT SURE!!!
But i learned a few things from this(and not sure if done) he said let love happen and when mind ,body and soul agree than its right!
So far they never agreed(except one time and we all know who) and i just don't know anymore who is right,what is right,when its right.
I hear his texts arriving every second and his ears must burn like fire,not sue if i wanna answer them.
Now i become like the other guys who are ignored my writing because they were not sure either and is it cowardliness of my self making a decision to commit to not finalize the go on or finish it for good?
So lesson learned, ask for what you need and completes you and DON'T paint the picture precise!!!
I responded.
Day of no compulsions
well, be careful what you wish for when you speak it out loud!
I always said i want to find and date someone just like me but be a man!
What for a nightmare!!!!
I actually found that and it drove me nuts.I knew that i was compulsive but i thought i covered it up with my charm and heart. well,now i know not so much. I saw the other side of the spectrum and i can't believe how many people (man ) i must have been driving nuts!
It was a cover for not feeling good and secure enough and i can so see this through this other person so clearly and now i am confused. Do i gentle help that person to become aware of it like i do or just leave it alone and let it run its course?
I am not really attracted to him but he is nice and my head says it could be good but my heart and soul says NOT SURE!!!
But i learned a few things from this(and not sure if done) he said let love happen and when mind ,body and soul agree than its right!
So far they never agreed(except one time and we all know who) and i just don't know anymore who is right,what is right,when its right.
I hear his texts arriving every second and his ears must burn like fire,not sue if i wanna answer them.
Now i become like the other guys who are ignored my writing because they were not sure either and is it cowardliness of my self making a decision to commit to not finalize the go on or finish it for good?
So lesson learned, ask for what you need and completes you and DON'T paint the picture precise!!!
I responded.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Good evening my people!
Day acceptance
After just eating to much chili my mind was occupied all day about not feeling settled.
Do you feel in constant waiting of your life to start as well?
Waiting of my home/love life to start and to stay.
To my carrier to take off highly and be celebrated internationally.
For my body to finally look the way i want it to be all my life and my busy mind to quiet zen fully (I know this ain't a real word but i like to create new ones for you:)
Its like constantly being on that freight train that's filled up with unfulfilled hopes and wishes and it speed keeps accelerating.
Maybe of unhook each waggon and shorten that overloaded freight train of disappointments will free up where the train is heading to?
But how do i slow down that train?
Hitting the breaks of ambition is challenging to me since i think that one of my best traits I've got, but now realizing that's the only way to slow down the ride and make it into the EASY TRAIN!
Being the best is not something i have to become but being the best is in the eye of the beholder and is an opinion that is labeled by others!
It is tough on to take on for me!!!!
Taking a breath and unhook the first waggon:)
Day acceptance
After just eating to much chili my mind was occupied all day about not feeling settled.
Do you feel in constant waiting of your life to start as well?
Waiting of my home/love life to start and to stay.
To my carrier to take off highly and be celebrated internationally.
For my body to finally look the way i want it to be all my life and my busy mind to quiet zen fully (I know this ain't a real word but i like to create new ones for you:)
Its like constantly being on that freight train that's filled up with unfulfilled hopes and wishes and it speed keeps accelerating.
Maybe of unhook each waggon and shorten that overloaded freight train of disappointments will free up where the train is heading to?
But how do i slow down that train?
Hitting the breaks of ambition is challenging to me since i think that one of my best traits I've got, but now realizing that's the only way to slow down the ride and make it into the EASY TRAIN!
Being the best is not something i have to become but being the best is in the eye of the beholder and is an opinion that is labeled by others!
It is tough on to take on for me!!!!
Taking a breath and unhook the first waggon:)
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Good evening my people!
Day of miracles like a Danielle Steele novel
As you all know i am going home for the holidays!
And i had the first time in my life a holiday miracle happened,when i spoke to my niece at 4:30am about my moms condition i heard the sadness in her voice of not spending x-mas with her. And at that moment the lioness awakened and i know now what it must feel like being a mother or parent or also spouse. A strenght of a Sarah O'Connor (terminator) over came me and i new i needed to do what ever it takes to see my mom and her and her son and my cousin and brother and.... I did a unexpected and contacted a loved one who i swore never to contact again but i did not care if i looked stupid or pathetic,the goal was to see them. And then the miracle happened, my never to talk to love one became my Santa clause and made my holiday trip possible.
I was speechless(but now i can't shut up about it:) and like a friend called it a real Angel among us! I trust my heart and intuition again and trusting it again gives me that endless power and energy and i wanna do good helpful things all day long!
My Santa is so full of love and kindness and that's what we all will give back to !
Day of miracles like a Danielle Steele novel
As you all know i am going home for the holidays!
And i had the first time in my life a holiday miracle happened,when i spoke to my niece at 4:30am about my moms condition i heard the sadness in her voice of not spending x-mas with her. And at that moment the lioness awakened and i know now what it must feel like being a mother or parent or also spouse. A strenght of a Sarah O'Connor (terminator) over came me and i new i needed to do what ever it takes to see my mom and her and her son and my cousin and brother and.... I did a unexpected and contacted a loved one who i swore never to contact again but i did not care if i looked stupid or pathetic,the goal was to see them. And then the miracle happened, my never to talk to love one became my Santa clause and made my holiday trip possible.
I was speechless(but now i can't shut up about it:) and like a friend called it a real Angel among us! I trust my heart and intuition again and trusting it again gives me that endless power and energy and i wanna do good helpful things all day long!
My Santa is so full of love and kindness and that's what we all will give back to !
Friday, November 5, 2010
Good evening my people!
Day of thanks:)
While my butternut squash is roasting in the oven and sipping my beloved decaf coffee and blowing my nose constantly,i was thinking of you all!
I have amazing friends in my life. Thinking of all the good you have done,i wanna say some official thank yous!!!
By alphabet;
Arash,i know i have been hard on you with that sale but you and your family are very import end to me and i know you always have and will have my back and vice versa.
Barbara; you are an amazing woman and inspire me to be great all the time,you are pure inspiration and let me see the great in me
Carey; you are an inspiration all around and no matter what,you walk the walk and you are my GI JANE
Emrie; i am so thankful seeing you everyday at work and you have my back when ever i need and even when we argue at times(my stubbornness) i always hear you and appreciate you trying to help me out all the time
Greg;what can i say that not everyone knows already, you are an amazing man and so much more to me, you have my back when i need and be a gentleman and i have never had so much fun with any man in my life and i cherish each and any moment we have had and will have!
Holly; you are like a sister to me and i love you dearly and i am thanking you that you always look out for me not to get hurt and i thank you for this so much
Jannet;every time i see you you lift up my spirit and my health and you always have the kindest words even when i do not agree with you,i do listen
Jeremy; you showed me a whole other way of living and being and i see you,thank you
Jill; you are my angle,i do not know how i was able to live here without knowing you? you are truly a part of me since the first time we lay ed eyes on each other my sister.
Jim;we haven't had a lot of contact but i wanna tell you bringing me that homemade chicken noodle soup with your daughter that evening almost exact a year ago,no one ever did something like this for me here,thank you a lot
Kay; you are a part of my life sine the beginning here and know more that anyone about my colorful journey and even if you did not agree with my choices ,you were there for me even when you shook you head a million times,thank you for being such a great friend
Pamela; my sister from another mother,we do not see each other as much as we want but in our hearts we are always in love, no matter how much time goes by we are always the same,2 big hearts as one
Scott; you are my brother since the first day i met you at that bar with the monster. i am always there for you and love you no matter what and you haven't called me tic tac lately
Tina;my bike buddy, thank you for being your crazy you and i love our bike moments
Wendy;my lovely sarcastic Wendy, you are edgy and tough to the outside but you are one of the smartest and analytical women i know and love when you point out my English/Austrian mistakes
All of are my teasures but i won't keep you as as secret
LOVE
ANDREA
Day of thanks:)
While my butternut squash is roasting in the oven and sipping my beloved decaf coffee and blowing my nose constantly,i was thinking of you all!
I have amazing friends in my life. Thinking of all the good you have done,i wanna say some official thank yous!!!
By alphabet;
Arash,i know i have been hard on you with that sale but you and your family are very import end to me and i know you always have and will have my back and vice versa.
Barbara; you are an amazing woman and inspire me to be great all the time,you are pure inspiration and let me see the great in me
Carey; you are an inspiration all around and no matter what,you walk the walk and you are my GI JANE
Emrie; i am so thankful seeing you everyday at work and you have my back when ever i need and even when we argue at times(my stubbornness) i always hear you and appreciate you trying to help me out all the time
Greg;what can i say that not everyone knows already, you are an amazing man and so much more to me, you have my back when i need and be a gentleman and i have never had so much fun with any man in my life and i cherish each and any moment we have had and will have!
Holly; you are like a sister to me and i love you dearly and i am thanking you that you always look out for me not to get hurt and i thank you for this so much
Jannet;every time i see you you lift up my spirit and my health and you always have the kindest words even when i do not agree with you,i do listen
Jeremy; you showed me a whole other way of living and being and i see you,thank you
Jill; you are my angle,i do not know how i was able to live here without knowing you? you are truly a part of me since the first time we lay ed eyes on each other my sister.
Jim;we haven't had a lot of contact but i wanna tell you bringing me that homemade chicken noodle soup with your daughter that evening almost exact a year ago,no one ever did something like this for me here,thank you a lot
Kay; you are a part of my life sine the beginning here and know more that anyone about my colorful journey and even if you did not agree with my choices ,you were there for me even when you shook you head a million times,thank you for being such a great friend
Pamela; my sister from another mother,we do not see each other as much as we want but in our hearts we are always in love, no matter how much time goes by we are always the same,2 big hearts as one
Scott; you are my brother since the first day i met you at that bar with the monster. i am always there for you and love you no matter what and you haven't called me tic tac lately
Tina;my bike buddy, thank you for being your crazy you and i love our bike moments
Wendy;my lovely sarcastic Wendy, you are edgy and tough to the outside but you are one of the smartest and analytical women i know and love when you point out my English/Austrian mistakes
All of are my teasures but i won't keep you as as secret
LOVE
ANDREA
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