Good morning my People!
DAY of RELAXING!!!!!!

I wanna share a breakthrough with you!
Its very deep rooted but maybe with sharing it it might help some one else too!
When i was 33 i had my first encounter with my biological dad . I knew about that he was my father 7 years prior but was not able to leave the USA than(due to visa).
I knew him as my "uncle" but now the cat was out of the bag.
Since that Sept 2003 i kept persuading him how great i was and he must love me now and be proud of having me as his daughter.Since i accomplished more that his other children i had no doubt in my mind that he would not want to tell everybody about me and brag as well!
I was mistaken.
I kept reaching in my bag of tricks and thinking "but now you know even more about me,now you will love me!"
I realized i kept doing this with the man i was dating as well.
when they rejected me or didn't show more interest ,than i kept reaching back into my bag of tricks and thinking "now you know me, now you will want to be with me! I think i a so good!
And suddenly it hit me.
The pattern of me wanting to be acknowledged and loved by a man was a cover to make up my missing dad experiences. And i now know why i was drawn to man you were not interested the same way as i was and i kept reaching into my bag of tricks and wanting them to change their mind.
But if they had , i wouldn't be happy either! I would probably felt that i won that battle and move on and take my new and false raised ego with me!
so now i actually i am attracted to man who actually like me and wanna be with me.
Its baby steps but VERY Good ONES!!!!
I finally can close that chapter and with happy and tearful eyes i am closing this father /daughter book and look forward to the new!:)